erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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