You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
