I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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