why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
