its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize