first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
