I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it was like eating out sand paper
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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