You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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