Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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