eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
