It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
