North Korea, Best Korea!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
