whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize