is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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