why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
