the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
