Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize