yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
