so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize