New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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