I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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