He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize