Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
