Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
