i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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