I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
