I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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