Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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