You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
