I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
