Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who died my cat blue again?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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