I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
