I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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