I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
