Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
