I accidentally burped into my bong.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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