why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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