Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There was a lot of him and a little penis
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Bring me that man meat
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
