I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
