so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think i got beer on your cat.
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