i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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