How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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