***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
