How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Alive.
So much puke
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
