Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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