my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
