How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did i walk over a car last night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
