Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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