is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
