we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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