We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
