I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
