I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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