She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
