if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
