i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I want to make a zoo with you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
