Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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